Articles & Insights into the world of handwriting.

The Inability to Assert Yourself

Inability to assert yourself

In my post about Private Fears and Personal Demons I promised to talk about some of the fears that we can identify in handwriting. So here is one of them – “The inability to assert yourself.”

This can be a rather debilitating trait because it tends to weaken and dis-empower you. Once you are able to identify it you will see quite clearly how this is indeed a fear and how it can hold you back from achieving your goals.

The inability to assert yourself is a fear that comes in many guises and it can have several repercussions.

So what does it mean if you can’t assert yourself?

It really means that you have a fear of standing up for yourself. You are willing to let others walk all over you rather than appear too positive or decisive. For reasons of your own you prefer to avoid even the tiniest possibility of a conflict.

But it goes further than that because it can also mean that you are easily dominated and that you could allow yourself to bullied.

So how does anyone land up with this type of attitude?

By acquiring the habit of avoiding confrontation at all costs, by agreeing too easily, by co-operating to an excessive and unnecessary degree and by showing little or no resistance.

A Non-Assertive Handwriting

How then do we see these trends in someone’s handwriting? Here are a few handwriting signs to look for:

  • Very light pressure which in itself shows a lack of assertiveness
  • Small sized handwriting that indicates a desire to be unobtrusive
  • A conventional style that has no outstanding qualities
  • Low and weak t-bars that reveal a feeling of inferiority
  • Short or weak lower loops that show a lack of follow through.


The following handwriting is a good example of a writer who finds it difficult to assert herself.

Low confidence

But also note the down-turning t-bars which show the beginnings of frustration and suggestions of:

The Passive Aggressive Personality

Sometimes the person who is unable to assert herself develops secondary defence mechanisms to help her cope.

In other words she will resort to other ways of putting up with her problem. She may display signs of passive aggressive behaviour such as sulking or behaving like a victim.

She may also harbour some inner resentments or display petty behaviour. It may even manifest as a type of vanity where she tries to show you that;  “I am different and superior and I don’t need you in my life.”

All these things are just a few ways of coping with her inability to make a stand which is something that she finds so difficult to do.

The ability to assert yourself does not require you to be aggressive.  You can still be a quiet and peace-loving person.

But neither does the inability to assert yourself mean that you are weak. It may stem from an unwillingness to hurt someone.

Nevertheless,  you need to be assertive when necessary. You need to be able to call upon your reserve of inner strength when the occasion demands.




  • User Avatar
    February 17, 2015

    Post has been revised and updated May 2022

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    Too true! Conflict is always uncomfortable but it can be the best way to deepen a relationship.

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